Tweet vault

These are the tweets I had to keep to myself before I was out of the baby closet:

What to expect when you're expecting: chapter 1: infinite nausea, 22 hour naps

John: are you sure you should wear nausea bands to work? Val: I wear heart shaped sunglasses. I'm pretty sure I can wear whatever I want

United healthcare has determined that I've met my quota of anti-nausea medication

Turns out the placebo effect of decaf is minimal

Wk 9: I wonder if I am going to be the first woman on earth to carry a baby in my tushee. My tummy is still flat but every day I have more junk in the trunk

Old habits die hard. Everytime I walk into a starbucks the word venti just flies out of my mouth!

I will not read Fit Pregnancy magazine again. There's always a pic of a pregnant lady biking. I don't even have the energy to brush my teeth

Things I can buy with my raise this year

1. Admission to the St. Louis zoo or science center
2. samples while I'm shopping at costco
3. Library books for 2 weeks at a time
4. Cookies at espresso Mod on Fridays
5. Cookies at Penn Station on Tuesdays
6. Movies that AB shows to support the soulard neighborhood (do they still do that?)
7. admission to the whittaker festival at Mobot

I'm running out of ideas and you get the picture. That is correct. I am not getting a raise this year. I guess with half the people I know being laid off, this is not something I should be whining too loudly about but I thought at least a small amount of whining was in order.

In other news, I've been facebook tagged today in those blogs to write 25 things about yourself and since I'm not feeling enough wit today for a decent blog entry, I'll cheap out and come up with 25 factoids.

1. I recently went to the doctor for chapped lips. I know health care costs are out of control, but gosh darn it they HURT!

2. I HATE lettuce.

3. If you ask me to eat lettuce at your house and I don't know you very well I'll probably politely make up an allergy.

4. I've tried to quit coffee about 5 times in the past year, each time failing more miserably than the next.

5. I have the WORST time keeping surprises a secret. There's one that I kind of want to out right here but I won't do it. :-)

6. My sister in law, Tiffany picked me to be a godmother to my new nephew, Alex. I'm pretty excited about it even though I don't know what it entails.

7. John and I are both reading Thousand Splendid Suns right now and while I'm finding it to be kind of a downer, he finds the depression infuriating. It's kind of funny.

8. (Good lord, I'm only on number 8!) Half of my front tooth is broken. I broke it roller skating when I was about 10. (Remember that, Westovers?)

9. I've given up the ghost finally. I'm a semi active text messager now.

10. I love the Family Guy. I have been boycotting it ever since the Bird is the Word episode. South Park was right, I think it is written by manatees.

11. I hate naps.

12. My honeymoon cost 20% of what my wedding cost and it was even more fun and far more memorable.

13. I was once the Hardee's Star of the Game.

14. I am 28 years old and I still can't swim.

15. I just asked my husband for an idea and he said to put "You like crappy books."

16. I would have a minor in theology but that was going to require taking a 9:30 a.m. class which I was totally unwilling to show up for because it was SO early!

17. I am 28 years old and I've never been ice skating. I like this because it's a nice tame fact for playing "I never".

18. Being ethical has its perks. I won't wear makeup tested on animals and I only will drink fair trade coffee which means I get fancy makeup and coffee.

19. I can't read lips. If you want to tell me something quietly, you had better send me a stinking text message.

20. I'm kind of non-confrontational so I really never know what to do when people make racist jokes. It hurts my feelings and I don't want to laugh but I just don't have the nerve to get on the high horse about it so the situation is just REALLY uncomfortable.

21. I need complete darkness to fall asleep. Even the lights from the numbers on the alarm clock will keep me awake. (reading too much Twilight has turned me into a vampire)

22. I got hit in the head with a golf club and had to get stitches.

23. I made a wish on a shooting star one time and it came true. (I know it is cheesy, but I'm running out of ideas here)

24. I am the last person in America that still refuses to watch American Idol. (I don't like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings either, send the angry mobs on over)

25. I play on a kickball team. Surprise, I am TERRIBLE! :-)

Sex or Internet

As you may have already noticed I have been taking a break from my news junkie addiction as of late, but I did come across something interesting on CNN. I'm not sure if this counts as "news" but here it is anyway.

According to a recent survey, many would give up sex for 2 weeks versus the internet.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/12/15/internet.sex.survey/index.html

Those are 2 of my biggest hobbies (outside of camping of course) so that really got me thinking as to what I would do. They left a lot of factors out of that survey. Am I at work during those 2 weeks? How much is John around? I couldn't really come to a conclusion at first. Then it finally hit me. There's an easy solution to that problem. -Internet pornography. I would choose the internet and have the best of both worlds. Let's be honest, I just don't think there are any bedroom activities that can substitute for facebook and google talk. Also, I just hadn't blogged in a while so I figured the only way people would bother to read this is if I put sex in the title.

The other excitement consuming me recently is my fixation with the Twilight saga. If you are planning to read it or are currently reading it, I have some spoilers ahead so please skip the next paragraph with my vent in it.

Bella is an idiot. Maybe I am just not romantic enough but it is a good thing I didn't write the Twilight saga because I don't think there would have been 4 books. I get it. She's as the back of the book says "unequivocally and irrevocably" in love with Edward. He is a VAMPIRE who thirsts for her blood, as are his family members. For Bella to even be in his presence is completely dangerous. Additionally, Bella is dangerous to the Cullens (Edward's family) in that she could risk exposing them which is probably the most dangerous threat to a vampire. Edward leaves Bella, presumably because it is in everyone's best interest. Fast forward about 6 months. Bella is finally crawling out of her deep dark depression because she is enjoying the friendly company of a sweet, caring, good looking boy named Jacob who happens to like her. -but Bella just can't be bothered because she is just too stuck on Edward who she hasn't seen in lord knows long long and let's face it could get her killed! She spends months hanging out with Jacob breaking his little heart and eventually decides that MAYBE she can "settle" for Jacob, shortly after she finds out that he is a WEREWOLF!! Are you kidding me? For those of you that have read the books, I would have put Bella with Mike Newton on about page 300 of New Moon and called it good, but then I guess that would be why I don't have as much money as Stephenie Meyer.

In other news, we got new carpet downstairs. It looks about the same but it is really soft. John said that Staley spent the afternoon licking it. I haven't tasted it myself yet, but I'll let you all know.......

apparently goodreads.com lets you blog book reviews

Just How Stupid Are We?: Facing the Truth About the American Voter by Rick Shenkman

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars
I am pretty much a sucker for a good political book. I guess I should have been able to tell from the title but basically the book drove home how Americans are continually less and less informed and not at all knowledgeable about civics. I was already well aware of these facts. I don't feel like the author did anything but drive home that point. He didn't give a lot of information on how it could change or the eventual consequences of our collective ignorance. I could have done without reading this one.


View all my reviews.

My weekend visit to the Tundra

Yes, I know I haven’t dusted off the old blog in quite a while. In case you didn’t already know the Gutrajs had a quick trip to Chicago this weekend.

Valerie Gutraj Travel Tip:

If you plan to go to Chicago anytime that is not July bring pants. Shorts will not cut it.

The Friday night drive was uneventful. I learned that Safari (iphone’s browser) doesn’t suit all of my many googling needs, and John learned that Pandora is indeed one of the greatest things ever invented, just as I told him. Speaking of which, I received some awful news this morning regarding my new toy. It really hurt me in my heart; see for yourself:

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080818-pandora-cant-make-money-may-pull-the-plug.html

Saturday we went shopping with my inlaws for a new television set. They got nice new television sets and John drooled a lot over the television sets. We want to get a new one, but until we can get HD, a new television would be futile.

On Sunday, we had to head back so that I could make work today. I finished my Jim Webb book in the car. (He’s probably going to be added to my list of heroes, by the way.) I was cruising along happily down 55 when I saw a police officer behind me. I didn’t even need to see the lights go on to know that I was in trouble. I knew I was going too fast. He informed me that they were cracking down for the state fair. He certainly wasn’t lying. I saw a half dozen other people being stopped. Anyway, John thought asking the state trooper to take a photo with me for my blog to commemorate my first speeding ticket would be a bad life plan, so all that I’m posting is a picture of the ticket. Enjoy.

In case you can’t see it…….that’s right, 83 in a 65. I am going to need a new piece of Valerie trivia for this year’s Christmas party. Shortly after the ticket incident, a bird flew into my windshield and died. It was a little frightening. Other than that and a massive headache, there’s not much to report from the trip. John’s mom and dad did send us home with a “Nintendo Virtual Boy”. Look for it on Ebay sometime in the next week or two.

Good Gracious Ass is Bodacious

Last night was the much anticipated O bachelor/bachelorette party. I've definitely got to hand it to Katie, she knows how to say goodbye to her singledom with a bang. I'm more exhausted than I have been in a long, long, time. It was awesome to get out like we used to!! I was really happy to hear that the dance clubs still played Nelly into the ground. I swear that man will be the mascot of St. Louis nightlife for the next few decades.

In other news, last week was our first game for our kickball league. We had been thinking it sounded like so much fun when the Webster kids talked about their kickball games but this year we finally signed up. We were blessed with beautiful weather and I got a basehit!! I just received official word that this week's game is cancelled, so hopefully next week I'll return with an even more stellar performance.

On the docket for next weekend are the amazing St. Patrick's Day parade and festivities!!! I'll be down there donning shamrock stickers, Guinness shirt, shamrock antennae, or possibly something more obnoxious if I can find it. I'm planning to do the run too, so we'll see how well I fare at the parade.

Okay, last night's antics are best told in pics, so I'm adding the link.

Katie's Bachelorette Party

Adventures in Flu Fighting

It has been brought to my attention that I’m behind on my New Year’s resolution, so I thought I’d get a blog together. Since I don’t have any pertinent photos to post, I’ll just add a few recent ones. I’m by myself tonight and I know that I will not get a head start on homework so this is as close to productivity as I get when I am at home alone. First, for those of you that know my friend Quinn or even if you don’t please keep him in your prayers. He went into kidney failure yesterday. I’m getting a mix of stuff back from google/webmd and friends that are there in Omaha but the general consensus is kidney failure is not a good time, so since last night I have been very worried.

Since my last update I have taken a short trip out to California and come down with a terrible black plague like case of the flu. We went to California to celebrate Nolan’s first birthday so that was a lot of fun. Many of the Gutraj clan made the trip to see Nolan and I have to say, the birthday cake was worth it.

Here’s Nolan (with his Mom and Dad) going after his cake.

Also, there was of course a t-shirt commemorating the event.

Additionally, Jill who you may know as my “carpool buddy” left AT&T a week ago. I am really going to miss our carpool confessionals. I’ve started carpooling with Clinton which has been fun and more economical, but I still dearly miss my daily interaction with Jill. We’ve scheduled weekly dinners to fill the void. This week was the first dinner and it was very therapeutic. We talked about men and tater mitts. John lasted longer than I thought he would before disappearing to play more guitar hero.

Last week we tried to do Valentine’s Day twice and failed both times. Saturday I was monopolized by the black plague and Thursday we had a group date at White Castle that I missed due to an unfortunate incident involving my parents, a flat tire, and the wrong type of tow truck. This past weekend I was still trying to fight off the last of my black plague, so we just stuck to a trivia event and school work. We lost at trivia as usual but we had a good time.

The upcoming weekend we have mouse races, a baby shower and Avenue Q at the Fox on the docket. That about catches everyone up in the wonderful world of Gutraj chaos. I must go now because I have a big night of television. Jon Stewart is on Larry King Live tonight. :)